The Smokey Eye

I think therefore I am

Dear Future Husband

A letter to my future Husband, it may sound unfair and selfish, so I hope that I can see my thoughts change so I will not have to put all my troubles onto him when I meet him.

Dear future Husband

I hope you are doing well wherever you are. I am still waiting for you to show up. If you ever do. I thought about what I want you to be like. I want you to be kind to everyone, even to the one's you may have to get rough with. I hope that kindess is the anchor for whatever you do. I want you to protect me when I need it.. The world is so mean right now. I just want you to keep me safe. I want to feel safe enough to look pretty for you everyday: when you get home from work, when I am doing house chores, when I cook, when we go out on dates. I want to dedicate my life to being your flower. I wish that when we meet and you find out how broken I am, that you'll stay. I promise to do good fixing myself.. Its just been really really hard to.. I know I can be a lot, and I can be mean.. like really mean.. I dont want to be that way anymore and I know I shouldnt rely on you to fix that part of me, but in some selfish way, i still want you to with your light. I dont know why I view you as this fix-all solution. Even though most times ik that's unfair to put on you. I wish that you are brave. You arent afraid to fight for us or our love. I hope you are brave enough to face my family when you do. or if you do.. I wish you could be the hero that I need. I am so very tired and exhausted from being strong. It hurts all the time in my heart to carry all this pain. Do you think I could be your princess. And could I rest on your shoulder in a field somewhere away from the world? I promise to make the best picnic basket ever to bring with us so we can stay for hours. Maybe sunrise or sunset, depending on the weather haha. Dear future husband, wherever you are, please just come to me. I feel like i sit on this enormous tower. And nobody is able to reach me. I am all alone with nobody to comfort me, to love me, to hold me at night. And everyone says theyll try to visit and climb up, but nobody makes it more than halfway and all I can do is yell to talk to them. Until they decide yelling at eachother to communicate is not enough anymore, and the distance is too much. Then they climb down and drift away. I hope youre strong enough to climb to the top. I think about it and in the end, i may not have much to offer beyond myself at the top. I hope I am enough for you at the end of the journey.. I know I act tough and try to be strong. I hope that we can strengthen each other and grow forever. I dont every want to weigh you down. I hope you can see past my hard shell, and the barriers I put up. And at the end of the day, still manage to hold me tight and tell me everything is going to be okay. I love you. I hope I can see you soon. Back to Top